Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Bagahe

Lubusang bagahe ang iyong mga alaala sa akin. Halos makuba ako sa pagbibitbit ng mga dalahing ito ngunit patuloy ang aking pagkarga, patuloy ang pagdala ko sa iyo. Male-maleta ng iyong nakaraan ang aking araw-araw na dinadala. Sa mga makikipot na daan na minsan lamang dapuan ng liwanag, sa mga eskinitang tinambayan ng aking lungkot at pagdurusa, sa mga kalsadang inaspalto ng luha, pagod at kawalan ng pag-asa, sa mga baku-bakong lansangang madalas ko tirikan. Dito,dito kita pilit tinatawid.

Madalas, gusto na kita iwan, madalas gusto na kita itapon sa mga matatarik na bangin ng pagkalimot, madalas gusto na kita ibaon sa aking baul at ilibing ito sa kinakalawang kong puso, ngunit ikaw ang tipo ng bagaheng hindi ko maisantabi, maiwan at maitapon.

Hanggang kailan kaya kita papasanin, hanggang kailan ka kaya manunukso ng mga baka at posibilidad sa aking naghihingalong pagsusuma, kung may pag-asa pa nga ba tayo? Male-maleta ang iyong nakaraan na umiikot sa aking gunita, kahon-kahon ang ating mga away at hindi matapos na paalam sa isa’t isa.

Alam ko ganito ka rin dati. Naglalakad ng nakayuko, halos mabali ang mga buto sa mabibigat na pasanin. Ngunit sabi mo nga ikaw ay lubusang masaya na, sa ganyan, walang hinahanap, walang ginugusto, walang hinihintay.

Bakit ba tayo umabot sa ganito? Sino ang makakapagsabi na magpapalitan tayo ng mga mala-punyal na salitang hindi natin alam kung saan hinugot, na magbibigayan tayo ng sakit at pighati at sa dulo halos pumasan ng mga kabundok na pasanin at bagahe na ‘di nagpapatulog sa atin sa maraming gabi?

Mahal na mahal pa rin kita. Ngunit baka tama ka nga na malamang hindi na rin sasapat ang mga ito. Wala na siguro sasapat. Wala ng makakahatid sa atin sa pampang upang maging tulad ng dati.

Naiisip parin kita. Naluluha pa rin ako sa mag paulit-ulit na bangungot ng ating nakaraan. Hanggang kailan kaya kita papasanin? Hanggang kailan kaya kita titiisin?

Ikaw ang aking pinakamasaya, pinakamaganda at pinakamalungkot na bagahe at alaala.

Nakakakuba magmahal at ang pagtatangkang lumimot…


sashaninel feb2007

6 comments:

Bonn Juego said...

'Love is so short; forgetting is so long' -- Pablo Neruda.

Tol, a reflective piece for you which I posted in my blog more than two years ago: http://agoodgame.blogspot.com/2004_12_01_archive.html.

;)

Posted by: BONN | February 23, 2007 02:36 PM

Tiradauno said...

Gusto mo ba ng online work?
Earn while you enjoy time with your Family & Lovedones!
Email me: tirada_uno_23@yahoo.com / tiradauno@gmail.com / n.helphelphelp@gmail.com
For more details, kindly visit http://www.unemployedpinoys.com/

ninest123 said...

polo ralph lauren outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, louboutin pas cher, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp, air max, christian louboutin outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, ugg boots, prada outlet, nike outlet, sac longchamp, burberry, air jordan pas cher, louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, michael kors, replica watches, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, louboutin, tiffany and co, uggs on sale, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, replica watches, longchamp pas cher, louboutin shoes, ugg boots, nike free, prada handbags, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade outlet, chanel handbags, louis vuitton, tiffany jewelry, jordan shoes, nike roshe run, ray ban sunglasses, nike free, oakley sunglasses, ralph lauren pas cher, tory burch outlet

ninest123 said...

michael kors, nike air max, ray ban pas cher, tn pas cher, michael kors, true religion outlet, timberland, north face, true religion jeans, air force, ray ban uk, nike air max, coach purses, kate spade handbags, michael kors outlet, nike blazer, michael kors, ugg boots, true religion jeans, hermes, vans pas cher, new balance pas cher, oakley pas cher, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet online, ralph lauren uk, north face, abercrombie and fitch, vanessa bruno, hollister pas cher, converse pas cher, sac guess, michael kors, burberry, michael kors outlet, replica handbags, true religion jeans, lacoste pas cher, michael kors outlet, lululemon, nike roshe, hollister, hogan, nike air max, mulberry, coach outlet, nike free run uk, coach outlet, ugg boots, michael kors outlet

ninest123 said...

mont blanc, insanity workout, valentino shoes, north face outlet, timberland boots, soccer shoes, vans shoes, babyliss, new balance, nfl jerseys, mac cosmetics, giuseppe zanotti, p90x workout, nike huarache, nike trainers, nike air max, reebok shoes, vans, ray ban, baseball bats, lululemon, hollister, mcm handbags, celine handbags, wedding dresses, hollister, soccer jerseys, nike air max, iphone cases, ralph lauren, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, chi flat iron, louboutin, converse outlet, north face outlet, herve leger, bottega veneta, nike roshe, longchamp, asics running shoes, birkin bag, hollister, beats by dre, ghd, lancel, oakley, jimmy choo shoes, gucci, ferragamo shoes

ninest123 said...

canada goose outlet, moncler outlet, supra shoes, replica watches, toms shoes, moncler, thomas sabo, hollister, marc jacobs, swarovski, montre pas cher, moncler, ugg pas cher, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, canada goose, sac louis vuitton pas cher, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, moncler, pandora charms, karen millen, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, bottes ugg, louis vuitton, swarovski crystal, links of london, canada goose, pandora jewelry, moncler, wedding dresses, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, doudoune canada goose, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, coach outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, moncler, ugg boots uk, canada goose uk