Friday, October 5, 2007

Ten years and still angry

Ten years ago, I feel so invincible and indestructible. No baton, shield or threats of incarceration can break us. They will never break us. Not the hypocritical school dictator, not the local police, not even feudal god himself. We paint the town red, crimson red, scarlet-like, warning the unrepentant, giving notice to the coming. Words were shouting, written, angry, splattered on ugly Manila walls, reeking with piss and shit. Words, though sometimes alone, were never really alone. A reminder that the imperishable remain imperishable and unconquerable.

Ten years ago, I feel I can take the whole world, deny it and refuse it, rip it apart, rip it to pieces and rip the rotten cadaver out of its propertied soul. I scream so loud that no boundaries can limit it, no stupid blog can confine it, no restrictions and imposed margins can scare or mellow it, no politician can interpellate it.

Everyday for the last ten years, I can hear my scream echo in every street corner, in every diploma mill, in every factory, in every music and poetry, joining with other screams, with other roars, flirting with peril, like a bullet forever on a ricochet, coveting the impossible, demanding the unattainable, celebrating the orgy of the great unwashed.

Now, I’m 29 years old, ten years after. I'm sitting on the edge of the cliff, pondering, wondering, looking. Was it all worth it? Do I still feel unbreakable, undying and unyielding?

"It is always raining in my mind."


Was it all worth it?

You bet it is. And we are just warming up. Hear us roar louder. We will spit on the cradle of this ‘new democracy’ and mock it again and again. We will never be satisfied. We will never be contended. Yes, we will destroy your ‘world’ and build a new one instead.

Screw you. We're still here.

Emman Hizon, 29, and still angry.


jae said...

umagang-umaga, agit.

jae, 27, steady lang. :)

James Miraflor said...

Ten years.

Three thousand six hundred and fifty days of angst-ridden struggle against the oppressive state.

Eighty seven thousand six hundred hours of screaming sacrifice to advance the people's cause.

Five million two hundred fifty six thousand minutes of never giving up, of steadfast, passionate protest.

Two hundred sixty two million eight hundred thousand seconds of twisting heart realizations.

Ten years.

And not a single moment wasted.

Mabuhay ka, Emmanuel!

Anonymous said...

was it that long? hahaha

mecha-u raya said...

... here's my random thoughts after reading your post.

... in my college days, i was in activism. it was a thrill... of those ideas. it's camaraderie that i treasure. the people in the movement. the fight. i guess, my activism years is over. i'm working now... the work that worth the money but a work that i never loved. but i never forget.... the time.... the friendship... the seminars... the people.... it's just that i became uncertain... that the enthusiasm faded.

... i had attended a seminar before... in Cotabato... where you had been a speaker... when was that? ... 2002?... not really sure... it was hosted by AKBAYAN and MASP. you're a great speaker...

i'm drifting right now... when i ought to speak... i had chosen silence. i wonder... what keeps you guys standing in the frontlines... i wonder... what has become of those activism years in my life, right now.... as for me, i had drifted. we are all fighting... for freedom... for our dreams... for life... for democracy... as for me... right now... i'm still fighting... for a dream. i don't know where it will lead me... and i feel like there's no going back. or maybe... i'm crippled by dread... that's why i had not participated the progressive movements. that's why i had not been seeing them... but i will never forget... the cause... someday... when, i had found my roots...

a year... a decade... is never wasted. it's just that... every passing of time... we get older... but our heart is as young as our dream...oh, it seems like yesterday! years make as tough... it's a long road... worth the travel. coffee break, poh... ^ ^

"Grieve not for me
Who am about to start a new adventure.
Eager I stand and ready to depart,
Me and my reckless, pioneering heart"
- Anonymous

currently listening: kapag sinabi ko sayo by gary granada
next in playlist: ashita, tenki ni naare by miyavi-sama
currently watching: hoshi no koe by makoto shinkai
currently reading: macarthur by bob ong

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